Special Agent Gothmog's Fallout Travels

No Vault Citizen is an island. I've been fortunate to find a mysterious stranger in the wasteland. Here are his stories from the field If you like his reports, e-mail him at eddie@minotafb.ndak.net

If The Overseer knew this he would have never sent them out. No wonder they ate all the food.

If it wasn't for the Super Stimpack strapped to my forehead ( I've yet to find out where you're actually supposed to put the damn thing ) I could have swore that I saw Cheech & Chong in all there PIP-ified goodness, gracing your fine Web-Page.... Now this may come as a shock to you, but I have found out that for a short time C&C had been members of the B.O.S. Apparently they were drawn in by the Brotherhoods extensive research in the field of High-Tech Bongs. Unfortunately they got kicked out after being caught trying to sneak into Rhombus's room in an attempt to steal some RadWeed. Of course most of you are asking how the infamous Cheech & Chong survived there intrepid journey to "The Glow". Well through scientific research I have found that radiation was so mild compared to some things that C&C have done, that they suffered little more then a head wound from when Tommy Chong accidentally slipped on a liver, carelessly misplaced by an Atom-Bomb.

"Gothmog's Vague Study of Mutaria Glutaneous Maximus Stupidius AKA Super Mutants"
"Well it's been 16 days now that I've been studying these fascinating creatures and I've made a breakthrough.... They're complete Idiots!

At first I thought there strange behavior was some territorial rite but I know now that there just really stupid. I made this startling conclusion as I was watching the one I call Bobo, meaning "Eater of Urinal Cakes" in old Latin, when I noticed him looking directly at me. Of course my first reaction as a historian and scientist was to scream and wet myself, after which I ran like the frail wuss that I am...... I was about to make the decision to stop when a wall made it for me."

*Paragraph 9*
"After awakening from my coma, I was startled to find that absolutely nothing had happened at all, confused and bewildered, I slowly made way to the camp and looked around, amazingly nothing had changed, Bobo had resumed his daily regiment of scratching, and no other visible changes could be seen due to my outburst.

*Paragraph 10*
To prove my theory I picked up an old Nuka-Cola can and threw it in the camp.....nothing?
So I jumped up and yelled....again nothing?

Finally my patience wore out after two minutes of trying ( I have a very short fuse) So I picked up a good 8-pound rock and chucked it at an unsuspecting Bobo's head....Well to make a long story short I've had to end my studying of the Mutaria Glutaneous Maximus Stupidius due to the loss of use to my right arm, but I swear upon the heads of my retarded Brahmin, Loafy, that I will find a way to finish my research and this time I'll be sure to invest in some heavy weaponry.....Thank You

*The History of Gothmog*
Well my journey ended on a somewhat sour note, you see when I was still young and working for the vault, I had a strange fetish to kill anything and everyone I saw, now I know most of you at home are saying " not you Gothmog, your such a caring and gentle soul " well......you were wrong, of course now Ive changed.

Through 12 years of intense mental rehabilitation and a daily kick to the groin, I learned to control my.....urges.....

Anyway upon reaching my goal set by the Overseer, he found a problem in my genocidal habits and banished me from the vault ( he's a rather picky fellow I presume ). So , not being one to take things sitting down, I tried to talk things over peacefully and resoursefully.........seeing as how that didnt work I blew off the left side of his body.......yeah like you would have done any better.

Having saved the hide of all Southern California I traveled for quite some time heading east, where I was "treated" and where I began my historian career!!

So there it is the story of my begining as the famed historian you see before you today.

(This has been a small excerpt of the manuscripts of Gothmog the Historian...Coming to a theatre near you)

Special Agent Gothmog is sending all of these reports.
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