If you pick
up Tycho
in the bar
Now, I don't usually do this,
But I swear these words are true,
If you pick Tycho in the bar,
Then he will come with you.
Tycho is a desert ranger,
Rifles and shotguns he has shot,
But when it comes to close combat,
Jackie Chan he is not.
Dogmeat is another friend,
Super attack dog is his breed.
Taken up guard outside a house,
It's owner he has treed.
But wear a black leather jacket,
Of a former master it will remind
Or give him an iguana on a stick,
And he'll soon fall in behind.
These are not the only NPCs,
Just the ones that I often find,
There's also Ian in Shady Sands,
And Tandi comes to mind.
You can find her at the Raider camp,
Then there's just one more,
Talk to Katja in the Boneyard,
To find out what else is in store.
Gizmo
Gizmo is a known phenomenon,
He's in all the astronomy books,
For he's classified as a heavenly body,
Despite his rotund looks.
How can this be? I hear you ask.
How can this come from my lips?
Well, every time Gizmo walks around,
He causes an eclipse.
Gizmo is the local mafia boss,
Upon which you plant a bug,
You count on his loose lips to bring him down,
Then you kill the slug.
But it's not any easy task,
Izo's a fantastic bodyguard,
With the huge body he has to protect,
You know he's got it hard.
But should you meet with some success,
With Gizmo and his hoards,
You will become much richer then,
With goods and points as rewards.
Fallout
I was at the local game store,
Just the other day,
When I saw a ferocious crowd,
Standing in my way.
What was this raucous cacaphony,
Blocking my inquiring view?
It seemed that a game called Fallout,
Was the game that's new.
But as I picked up the cover,
Into my trembling hand,
I didn't see what was so S.P.E.C.I.A.L.,
I didn't understand.
So, upon a whim I purchased it,
The attraction I didn't see,
I took it out and loaded it,
Onto my P.C..
I got the briefing from the guy,
Called The Overseer,
Then I was outside Vault 13,
Blasting rats so queer.
I traveled on to Shady Sands,
Discovering new land,
I am starting to see what's so special,
I think I understand.
I bartered for a rope from Seth,
And Ian joined my side,
He accompanied to Radscorpion Caves,
And ventured on inside.
I healed a guy for Doctor Razlo,
Who like my motivation,
I helped a humble farmer too,
With some crop rotation.
Then it was off to Vault 15,
East of Shady Sands,
My life is quickly passing by,
My wife never undertands.
I entered the decrepit Vault 15,
And looked all around,
But there was no water chip,
But attackers did abound.
I'm glad I had the rope with me,
I put it to good use,
I also found some great equipment,
With it others I'll abuse.
Off to Junktown then I ventured,
To meet many a nasty band,
My friends think that I am lazy,
They just don't understand.
In Junktown I encountered Tycho,
A ranger who was free,
After chatting for a while,
He came along with me.
Dogmeat was also lurking there,
A dog with an attitude,
He was a great attacking machine,
With a killing aptitude.
He was causing a resident many problems,
But he took iguana from my hand,
My family think that I have lost it,
The just don't understand.
Then I met poor Killian,
The much embattled mayor,
I don't know that much about him,
But I don't think he's all there.
While I spoke to him briefly,
His life was under threat,
For a bungled assassination job,
Is enough to make anyone sweat.
But I accepted his offer,
And Gizmo's confession I'll land,
My priest thinks that I'm possessed,
But he doesn't understand.
Then I went to visit Gizmo,
The confession I did get,
Killian rounded up his guards,
Then Gizmo we all met.
The fighting was like a hurricane,
Furious, but quite short,
I was resoundingly victorious,
I'm happy to report.
Then I ripped off naïve Killian,
Using slight of hand,
No-one appreciates my deception,
They just don't understand.
Satisfied with my devious actions,
Happy with my best,
I ventured to The Crash House,
Looking for a rest.
Instead I encountered a hostage,
But I didn't even balk,
I ended all this silliness,
With some insightful talk.
Sinthia was extremely grateful,
Then she took my hand,
I can see that you are smiling,
Do you understand?
But now The Hub beckoned me,
And my adventure thus expanded,
I met the puzzling Iguana Bob,
And an introduction I soon landed,
Through Kane to the evil Decker,
And his ruthless mob,
I visited the Friendly Loan Company,
Now them I'd like to rob.
I solved the mystery of the missing caravans,
For that hapless band,
But you know that time is wasting,
I see that you understand.
I talked to Beth and to Slappy,
And Harold was quite nice,
His lumpy, running skin reminded me,
Of curried prawns and rice.
From here I squashed the Deathclaw lair,
And found a hidden guild,
With some inventiveness I stole a necklace,
My reputation it did build.
The Thieves' Circle was quite generous,
Electro Picks in my hand,
I left them quite chuffed and contented,
The satisfaction you understand.
Decker asked me to kill Hightower,
This I did quite quick,
Then I reported him to the police,
The trouble then was thick.
Yet again I was triumphant,
But I had to move,
An itching to see Necropolis,
Was a travel bug to soothe.
So soon I reached my target,
In it I did land,
Sneaking round the many mutants,
Is something you'd understand.
With some inventive puzzling,
I fixed the water pump,
And I was able top get a chip,
Without busting a hump.
Back to Vault 13 I traveled,
My revered and humble home,
Pleased to put an end to,
The days I had to roam.
But despite all my venturing,
Over many miles I'd fanned,
The epic had not finished yet,
I did not understand.
To the Brotherhood of Steel I traveled,
They sent me to The Glow,
This place glows in the dark,
How was I to know?
But in there I found weapons,
And lots of other stuff,
I was now armed and dangerous,
But wow, this game is tough!
I had collected what they asked me,
I put it in the guard's hand,
They let me inside their brotherhood,
I quested to understand.
The Brotherhood was a source of wealth,
Some power armour mine,
And with some medical alterations,
My skills are really fine.
So, I left this group of people,
Into further harm,
But then visited The Boneyard,
And fixed their hydro farm.
I then killed all the Deathclaws,
Their type is now banned,
Then I went to the Gun Runners,
For more weapons, you understand.
The Military Base was next,
On my itinerary,
I killed all the sentries near,
To add to my inventory.
I electro picked the front door,
And their many force fields,
I trashed all the mutants too,
And the guns they wield.
Then the Vat Control Computer,
Came under my skilled hand,
Then that was the end of the base,
But that you understand.
My attention was then diverted,
The Cathedral looked so nice,
I was able to infiltrate it,
With some good advice.
In here I met many bad guys,
But I turned them into goo,
Finally I found the basement library,
And it's secret, too.
Inside was the gruesome Master,
And his mutant band,
His demise took some creativity,
I see you understand.
And so my game was over,
Left with it's so sad end,
But my experiences continued,
Some messages I did send.
Across the realm of cyberspace,
By chance I found a site,
Called The Unwashed Villagers,
Composed of all those bright.
Then they called for members,
I gladly raised my hand,
And now I am surrounded by,
Those who understand. |
Killian
The much stressed Mayor of Junktown,
Killian deals with political strife,
When he's not mumbling away,
He's fighting for his life.
For he's made a mortal enemy,
With the town's mafia lord,
The only thing that keeps him safe,
Is his expertly trained horde.
But whenever I've talked to him,
I leave in quite a hurry,
He just seems far too passive,
And his tendencies make me worry.
His fetishes for electronic devices,
And hearing what people say,
Particularly the stuff about him,
Seems vain in every way,
Sure, they're out to kill him,
That much we can clearly know,
But if this was so obvious,
Killian should have killed Gizmo.
Then to the Swaree you are invited
To kill Gizmo and his many men,
Gizmo's people even help you,
Killing every now and then.
But Killian's thinking's not too bright,
His meager intellect is poor,
For he hasn't made very secure,
The safe in a room inside his store.
Sneak past his guards at night,
And the lock you can quite simply pick.
Or hide inside until the early hours,
That'll also do the trick.
Come to the Crash House
With Morcelles the innkeeper,
And in the north, the Skulz so bad,
At a measly 25 caps for a night,
It's a bargain waiting to be had.
A Raider holds poor Sinthia hostage,
That you can talk out of his insanity,
Just tell him you want to help,
And impress upon him your humility.
Negotiate a deal and then he leaves,
And from here you use your aptitude,
Negotiate a reward with Sinthia,
And she'll show her gratitude.
Thieves' Circle
Pick some locks,
Dodge some traps,
It's as bad as you've feared!
Loxley's there,
In good form,
He's BLOODY BLOODY weird!
But persevere,
Do some jobs,
And in your grubby paws,
You will score,
Electro lock picks,
Will soon be your rewards.
Harry
My name is simply Harry,
Stoopid that I is,
I am a working Sooper Mutant,
The Master's I is his.
I am a finking doorman,
This is wot I guard,
Watching for stealthy hoomans,
It is very hard.
Take just a minnit ago,
Somfing tried to go past.
But I really showed him,
That I's finking fast.
I grabbed his stoopid head,
My hands like an iron vice,
But it was just a snazzy mutant,
Dressed up really nice.
But I am really seerious,
I have no time to waste,
If a hooman does try to pass,
I'll turn it into paste.
Vree
How would it be?
For the poor Vree,
Surrounded by men of steel?
I'm sure she'd trust,
They wouldn't rust,
But does the Brotherhood appeal?
She's placid and calm,
And does no harm,
As she goes on with her life.
But this confident maid,
Would soon dissuade,
Any impending trouble or strife.
But she takes the odd jibe,
For being a scribe,
And her hair is often quite mopsy (sorry – poetic license).
But she smiles to herself,
Takes the knife from the shelf,
And then performs their autopsy.
Random Encounters
Wandering through the barren wastes,
Of this apocalyptic land,
You will find some wonderous things –
Read on and understand.
Both high Luck and Perception,
Will help you on this quest,
Some will give you something,
With others you'll reach your best.
Find the partially buried and
Crashed UFO,
And off with a picture of Elvis,
And an alien blaster you will go.
If you find the Tardis,
From our Doctor Who,
Then a free motion detector,
Will go away with you.
There's also Godzilla's footprint,
For you to enjoy,
Look around it closely,
For a bonus stealth boy.
Also seek Crazy Bob's Cars,
He's unbalanced and he's mad,
But from him regular and LE BB guns,
Are yours to be had.
From an overturned truck you can,
Add some caps to your belt,
If you wish to add to your Charisma,
Talk to Patrick the Celt.
Then there's two more encounters,
The results I am yet to uncover,
The fisherman and his son is one –
The talking Brahmins is the other.
There are other encounters still,
Upon which to feast your eyes,
These are a little different, though,
From them there is no "prize".
You can confront a group of Raiders,
Or to Town Guards you can talk,
You can join a passing caravan,
Or into animals you can walk.
These animals vary greatly,
From mantises to Deathclaws,
To rats and moles and others,
The unexpected will be yours.
Animals Abound
I've got to stop playing Fallout,
It's in everything I see,
Everything inside my life,
Looks like animals to me.
Take this as an example,
In church just yesterday,
Everyone looked like atomic mantises,
Because of how they pray.
I hear a scratching upon the roof,
I went out expecting cats,
Imagine my surprise when,
I saw some mutant rats.
The Roads Department started digging,
Some new sewerage holes,
But when I turned and blinked my eyes,
They were really moles.
My neighbour was out poisoning weeds,
With her poison jar,
But all I could think of was radscorpions,
As I looked on from afar.
However, by far most disturbing,
Was looking at my mother-in-law,
She shimmered out of focus,
Replaced by an angry deathclaw.
These animals are ever present,
They're in everything that I see,
I think I play far too much Fallout,
I'm sure that you'd agree.
Brotherhood of Steel
What's with the Brotherhood of Steel,
They make out they're so tough,
But they're full of inconsistency,
Man, I've had enough!
From the surgeon with the magic touch,
Who can help you – for a price,
What happened to some Brotherhood?
For free – now that would be nice!
The there's the simian gate guards,
Lazing by the gate,
Sending people on fatal quests,
Them I'd like to initiate!
Then I met the trainer Talus,
From him power armour you get,
But he surrounds himself with little boys,
He's a pedophile I bet!
Then there's Michael the quartermaster ,
The repairman – yeah, right,
He couldn't find his own ass,
With two hands and a flashlight.
And what's the story with the fearsome Rhombus?
Sayer of impending doom,
If he's such a great and powerful leader,
How come he's always in one room?
But the thing that annoys me by far the most,
Is the promise of Paladin assistance,
But when you go to the Military Base,
They show a good deal of resistance.
For the brave and noble Paladins corps,
Stop short of entering the base,
It is my humble opinion that for Paladins,
The toilet is their place.
So, in short, the mighty Brotherhood,
It's blood it needs to thicken,
Or, in a very short period of time,
They will be the Brotherhood of the Chicken.
Hightower
Take pity on the Hightowers,
They really are O.K.,
Find a way to sneak on in.
Let them live another day.
Too many people merely cap them,
As they sleep inside their bed.
Ignore your blood lust penchant,
To blow off both their heads.
Use some stealthy reconnaissance.
Creep around house.
Wait until the guard walks away,
Then creep in like a mouse.
Hit the safe while they are asleep,
Let them slumber long.
For you need to return quite soon,
To kill them later on! |
