System in question is an IBM R30 Thinkpad Celleron Mobile 900 MHz, 386 MB RAM, 30 GB HDD, Windows XP SP2, DX 9 (I think). Oh yeah, graphics adaptor is a "Trident Cyberblade". Eh, just look here: http://www.thinkwiki.org/wiki/Trident_CyberBlade_Aladdin_i1
OK, this is a weird one, but...