Well, I wouldn't say that the PA setting of the area abord me particulary much - because that is what you seek to put across, right?
The buildings are too intact in colors etc etc.
You should double-dare the motherfucker.
Squirt on your clothes and enter his room with a really creepy smile and say that it's polar bear blood.
That should call the lie, or at least make the two of you... closer.
Who the fuck would want a frickin' Paperkov when you can get your hands on the real deal by simply visiting a random kebab state?
I'll just stick with folding paper planes.