Last Saturday, I was invited by my friend to go to auction off people with her at the bar. Things started going great when I went to her house and her mom would not let either one of us out of the house if we did not dress "sexy", because "female auctioneers need to look sexy." So, I borrowed my friend''s black slacks, knee-high black stiletto boots, and her corset-style black tanktop. Yes, black is my favorite color. Of course, I wore my collar, pocket chains, and spikes. She dressed identical to me, but in solid white. And so, we went to the bar a block from her house. The night started kind of slow, we drank coffee and talked until her friend showed up. Right after the other girl came, the soldiers poured in. Poor Melissa and I could not buy drinks for ourselves. The soldiers payed for them, they refused to let us spend our money. So, that was fun. Then, we started the auction and sold half of them; raising well over $500 for my friend's boyfriend, who was in the military but got discharged because he broke his neck. And then as the liquid fun flowed, the real fun started happening. The remaining eight soldiers gave every female in the bar lapdances, then we played pool and darts, then talked about everything under the sun from video games and computers to just about everything. Not one subject remained untouched. Then, they decided all of us were going to sing "Time Warp" and "War Pigs." We got standing ovations, so we then sang "Time Of Your Life." Then, the soldiers, who were quite pickled, decided we were going to play keep away, then go into the parking lot and play hide and seek. Of course, we also played Quarters, followed by Beer Pong. The amazing part of it all was that no one got mad at anyone, and the soldiers were so fucking funny that my jaw ached within an hour of being there. They danced the Conga, the Salsa, the Funky Chicken, all while cutting up and just generally being funny as hell. As the night drew to a close and we had our last rounds; mine being a Mudslide, chased with a whiskey sour, I wound up with one of the youngest soldiers' incredibly expensive cowboy hat plunked onto my head; it's a Stetson, and he told me to keep it, in exchange for my silver and turquoise ring. So, we traded. Between the lap dances, faux strip-tease, alchobooze that flowed like water, and general merry-making, it was amazingly fun. And the bar was a very nice establishment. The only problem that we had was that no one wanted to go home, what with all the fun we were having. We left at closing time, which was 2 this morning. In the car, it was even more fun. No one was stupid, obnoxious, or mean. We all just sang along with the radio, then teased the hell out of each other. We're all in contact constantly- my friend and the soldiers that teased the living shit out of her and I. Everyone became very fast friends; and I was told that I now have 16 brothers that I did not know that I had. And I had been awarded with the nickname of "Shadow." We plan on all going out again sometime in the very near future. I very much look forward to it, as it will be even crazier than the last time was.