Feel free to share any of your own experiences that you thought were funny. I decided to try and solve Beyond the Beef differently than usual. I had set my reps to zero for Lonesome Road, because I wanted the "Yes-Man"/no-faction dialogue as per my Independent playthrough. So I couldn't join the White Gloves, but on top of that nobody would tell me anything about the missing people. So the quest couldn't progress until I pickpocketed Mortimer to get the keys to the kitchen. After throwing everyone's meals onto the floor in the Gourmand, I went into the basement and stumbled onto Philippe. He paid me to publish a book, and then I got him to leave so I could throw more of his food onto the floor. Then I found Ted, who spouted off generic lines like he was just chilling there in the freezer, along with several human skulls. He was weirding me out, so I just got out of his way. All he did was walk outside of the freezer, like 'this is my new hangout spot', and then he spouted some more generic lines. He must have been really easy to kidnap, I thought. I got him to follow me, but he didn't really explain anything. And none of the White Gloves in the kitchen seemed to care, so it seemed like he hadn't really been kidnapped. It was confusing to my character. When I got to the door to the White Glove members only area, it warned me that they would kick me out right away. I thought okay, that's fine. I'm heading into the casino anyway. All the White Gloves got up and immediately rushed me with their riding crops. They couldn't care less about Ted, further confirming my suspicion that he kidnapped himself. He even got in the way and they just ran around him. All two or so dozen of them in fact, got bunched together between the counters to get to me. So I took out Two-Step Goodbye, which is a powerfist with a knockback effect that also attaches a timed explosive with every deathstrike, and started wailing on the crowd. A few explosions later and everyone was dead, Ted included, but I didn't get the blame. When I reached the casino floor everyone started fleeing except the White Gloves. Who I frenzied with Dr.Mobius' Glove to start a battle royale. The croupiers wouldn't leave their tables. So they just stood there waiting to get beaten to death with riding crops. Eventually whatshisface, Ted's dad, stopped running around. When I talked to him it gave me all the dialogue options, as though I had actually uncovered the entire plot Mortimer included. So I told him his son was dead, and then killed him because the whole quest was broken, and my character was now insane. On a side note, I do recommend trying out Dr. Mobius' Glove. It also has this knockback effect that tends to send enemies flying. So with a few waps it's really easy to knock them off of cliffs, Hoover Dam, the High Road, etc. Sadly Ulysses can't be chucked into the Divide when you return to it after the end quest. He just sort of gets stuck hugging the cliff which is really annoying. On the other hand, the 'Sonic Emitter - Tarantula' also has a really broken critical effect, that regularly causes enemies to explode into firey chunks well before their health runs out. It worked on Legate Lanius for me which was very satisfying.