Does this sound like an interesting character?

Discussion in 'General Fallout Discussion' started by Alesia, Sep 18, 2013.

  1. Alesia

    Alesia It Wandered In From the Wastes

    197
    Mar 3, 2013
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9522654/1/Alésia

    I'm writing up chapters one and two of my New Vegas fanfic, but in the brainstorming phase for my Fallout 3 heavily modded plot, I came up with this character and I was wondering if you thought it was worth it to carry her over to NV.

    Name: Kamenna (no last name)
    Age: 35-37
    Appearance: White, dirty brown hair, hazel eyes, tribal band tattoos on right arm, clothing (undecided), usually seen wearing leather tribal bracelets and trinkets.

    Bio: Kamenna was born a the daughter of a tribal hunter in central VA. Her tribe, (name TBD) is a society of hunter gatherer's and warriors who pride themselves on their skill with hand made katana style swords and hand to hand combat. They are a very spiritual tribe, worshiping multiple deities with some aspects of Buddhism and several other religions, leading her to be very in tune with techniques like meditation, etc... As customs dictate, when each child reaches a certain age (presumably 18), they must pass a coming of age test which is determined individually by the tribal elders. Kamenna failed the test and was exiled into the wasteland in shame. Having little knowledge of the lands beyond her tribe, nor speaking any English, she walked the lands to the east, using her skill with survival to make it as far as the Capital Wasteland where she was captured by a Paradise Falls raiding party and sold as a sex slave. During this time, she learned English, albeit heavily accented, and eventually killed her master and escaped. Afterward, she made it to Megaton where she took up residence and a job as a mercenary, guard, and occasional impromptu spiritual advisor.

    It was here in 2277, that she met the lone wanderer and Amata Almodovar. Over time, she befriended them and taught them to survive the wasteland, leaving her post to accompany the two on their journeys. After the death of TLW, Amata decided to travel west and Kamenna came with her.

    Now, here's where I can't figure out how to end it. On their way west, Amata and Kamenna ended up in the Pitt and helped free the slaves from Ashur's control. Having been a slave at one time, I was thinking I could leave Kamenna in charge of the Pitt, or leave someone else (Werner maybe) in charge and bring her west as well.

    So, what do you think? Does this sound like a character that should be cut or should she come to the Mojave?
     
  2. Akratus

    Akratus Bleep bloop.

    May 14, 2011
    Girl? Check.

    "Awesome weapon"? Check.

    Meets with existing (popular) character? Check.

    Meets main character? Check.

    Gets involved in main story? Check.

    'Terrible secret past'? Check.

    Congratulations. You're a fan fiction writer.
     
  3. Wumbology

    Wumbology Actually a sentient CRT

    299
    Mar 5, 2013
    Is her katana folded over a million times?
     
  4. AlphaPromethean

    AlphaPromethean Vault Senior Citizen

    Mar 16, 2013
    No, that is not a good character.

    That is what most people would call a "Mary Sue".

    Try again, and try to write a character that isn't a totally awesome you.