[Spoilers] Succeed where Bethesda writers failed

Discussion in 'Fallout 3 Discussion' started by Flitzpiepe, Feb 27, 2010.

  1. Gaddes

    Gaddes Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    May 18, 2010
    Very nice work Ghost. Certainly better than Emil could ever do. Didn't he also say he doesn't like hiring actual writers because they won't play the game?
  2. The Dutch Ghost

    The Dutch Ghost Grouchy old man of NMA Moderator

    Jan 11, 2004
    Thank you for the compliment Gaddes, but truth is, I am already dissatisfied with this plotline.

    I honestly feel so ashamed of actually taking parts of other released and unreleased Fallout games, I really want to make something original that will amaze all Fallout fans.

    Right now I have this ambition to do something with the US government's secret weapon projects and the space program, a big freaking magnetic ramscoop fueled fusion starship, remote controlled robot flying wing bombers.

    A setting in which the NCR is competing with the big government in the North East; the System.

    A civilization of artificial intelligences that is growing increasingly paranoid of humans and mutants, and not an unjustified fear either.

    The Brotherhood of Steel who fears that humanity will be surpassed by machine intelligences regarding science and technology.

    A gang of vicious almost tribal raiders who want to kill or crucify anyone who knows about Pre War science.

    A collection of city states who find themselves caught between the NCR and the System while trying to fend an invasion by the Caesar's Legion (unless FNV convinces me otherwise).

    Super Mutants and Ghouls who see the end coming for their kind and rather want to go out fighting than quietly go into the night.

    A crazy cargo cult esque group who dresses and acts like astronauts but possess a significant source of power.

    A newly re-purposed Calculator that seeks to aid the remnants of humanity with rebuilding the world.

    And of course a sinister conspiracy hiding in the shadows that threatens everyone and could change what is left of the world forever.

    Now if only I can work out in my mind how to tie that all together.
  3. Gaddes

    Gaddes Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    May 18, 2010
    Those are some interesting ideas Ghost.

    If I could tweak anything about FO3's story it would be many of the towns. I'd give most of the smaller towns actual farms and sizable populations. I liked your idea about Fairfax Ghost as it seems to have most of what the people of Megaton needed.

    I'd also make Canterbury Commons an actual trading hub with crops, herds of Brahmin, and connections with other settlements.

    And finally replace the Enclave with the Talon Mercs, given them a back story, and the ability to talk, trade, and reason with them.
  4. ARV274

    ARV274 First time out of the vault

    May 27, 2010
    Yep, I agree with everything you say gaddes. Almost every town with the exceotion of Rivet Vity, and possibly MEgaton, could be easily raided by mercs. Talon company has no backstory.
  5. The Dutch Ghost

    The Dutch Ghost Grouchy old man of NMA Moderator

    Jan 11, 2004
    Hello Gaddes,

    My idea during the write up was indeed that Canterbury Commons would have been sort of a big hub area where you would be able to find all kinds of stores and other facilities.

    The quests there would have involved cleaning up a small mine of a giant ant invasion, taking on Brahmin rustlers, investigating the corruption of mayor and town council, and having some contact with the Techs, the strange machine cult.

    And heh, didn't I already give the Talon Mercs a background?

    I think I would have eliminated a lot of the useless little places such as Girdershade and the Republic of Dave or those two families of cannibals.

    The last would rather be a real community with their dirty little secret.
  6. Gaddes

    Gaddes Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    May 18, 2010
    Indeed Ghost. Your back story for the Talon Mercs is well thought out and certainly light years ahead of Bethsofts, we attack on sight pew pew.

    Ditto on getting rid of Girdernshade and republic of Dave. Even if Girdernshade was bigger, it would still be a pointless settlement. Dave on the other hand, I'm guessing that was suppose to be funny, but like any humor Bethsoft does, it fails.

    Also, getting rid of the Antagonizer and Mechanist is a great idea. I remember the first time I ran into those two, I face palmed for a few hours.
  7. Makenshi

    Makenshi Ahoy, ye salty dogs!

    Jul 28, 2006
    Evil Vault?! @__@

    Fuck me sideways, that's A-MAZING, Dutch Ghost!

    Are you planning something, bro? Because all that awesome writing, plus your call for Fallout 3 modders, has to mean something.

    Hell, those black'n red PAs from the Outcasts scream Talon Company, jst add the talon symbol and you're good to go.

    Thing could be easier now that New Vegas is receiving some serious modding, all of which could be fast converted to FO3.
  8. The Dutch Ghost

    The Dutch Ghost Grouchy old man of NMA Moderator

    Jan 11, 2004
    Hello Makenshi,

    Thank you very much for your compliment regarding my ideas, but to be honest, I am not really interested in fixing Fallout 3.
    I was just writing down ideas of how I would have used Fallout 3's assets to make a better storyline, factions etc.

    I am rather more interested in working out my ideas for Fallout Texas and an expansion mod for Fallout New Vegas called "Dreamland" (that is unless Obsidian has something planned).

    Right now I am thinking of which assets of FO3 and FONV could be used for FO Texas and what new material would have to be made.
    I rather use the FONV system as it seems more refined than FO3's.

    One thing I really want to have back is the 'map travel' system, as I would rather like to focus on interesting locations spread out across the former state than one large map with only one or two of the locations I would like to use and loads of little locations.

    Places would range from Corpus Christi (the Corpse) that contains a location called Numitor.
    A new city state called Lone Star that has been built over the ruins of Abilene, Killeen/Fort Hood, Austin, Houston, the Abandoned Oil Fields, Aeolus Windmill farm, The Brotherhood Vault, Fort Worth, a train yard controlled by the NCR, new places like Crossroads, Robot City, and the ICARUS crash site.
  9. Threepwood

    Threepwood Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    Nov 4, 2010
    I liked elements of your plot outline, but some things didn't 'fit' really, especially the Overseers involvment and his control over Talon Company etc.

    I'll just outline a few of my ideas.


    Due to numerous missile silos and defense grid bunkers situated in the DC area, the Capital Wasteland was hit with a particuarly ferocious barrage of warheads, most importantly, radiation bombs to ensure no one survives the aftermath to activate the many defenses.

    Now, this is more of an example, there has to be something important and crucial to the betterment, OR destruction of the wastes, situated within DC, and the radiation provides a barrier to claiming such a thing, and also gives excess liberty to design some particuarly fresh and new enemies.

    The Brotherhood of steel, fortified in a nearby irradiated vault, are in the process, and have to some extent developed radiation resistant technologies, that allow them two levels into the vault, without harmful side effects. The rest of the vault is sealed off, and a small settlment, punctuated with towers ad fences is erected outside to manage the large size of the chapter.

    The BoS seek to travel into the DC areas, brave the dangers (detailed later) take the technoligy found there and migrate east, to save the BoS central force, in a loosing battle against NCR. The BoS are prepared to use any tactics necisary, and will take any tech they want or need, by force as they travel through the wasteland.

    The BoS also have a forward camp on the river across DC (I have limited knowledge on American geography, sorry, you know the one just ahead of the Super Duper mart) where they collect and transport water to thier vault hq.

    The BoS originally comandeered the vault to obtain a GECK, but have subsequentley realised there isn't one in vault 101, and move on, to your own vault 102 (namesake) and have been shadowing and observing the entrance for around a week.

    The overseer of the vault realises this, and sees action must take place. One night, an attempted covert escape attempt is made, Vault citizens are escorted out by security, carrying as many supplies as possible, leading to an ambush by waiting BoS troopers, which leads to a crossfire between them, and the Outcasts.

    The Outcasts split with the BoS over how to handle issues in the wastes, the Outcasts wanted to use the DC treasures to command power and unite the wasteland, to prosper, and develop a coherent city free from threats, but the BoS see no need to help the 'tribals'.

    The game starts in the firefight, and Outcasts rescue you, and a handful of surviving vault dwellers, GECK in hand, to Fort Indipendance, where, as un-irradiated intelligent beings, you are given the option to become profficent in thier ways, and one can have custom special pre sets avalible depending on thier class choice. I.E Paladin, Medic etc.

    Other factions:

    Talon Company;
    A large force of well armed troopers from NCR, formerley a mercenary branch, after they began to grow in power, thier leaders were hunted and murdered, and thier numbers reduced. In response, they fled and established a base in the outer-wastes, claiming whatever rescources they can, and amassing an army for a push on DC.

    Super Mutants are abundant, remnants from the Masters army, and the radiation in thier habitat of DC, has twisted them into unspeakable beings, as terrible experiments, led by a mysterious cult of humans, allied with the mutants, fuse together life forms in sickening ways.

    Ghouls number in the hundreds, the lap dogs of the mutants, and most are driven feral, except a few, who are absolved into the cult's ranks and never seen again.

    Abominations (think Warcraft III)
    A result of thr Cult's experiments, lumbering husks of sewn together meat, cybernetically programmed to follow the Mutants bidding.

    Other Mutants would include malformed versions of Greek mythical beasts, roaming the city of thier own accord, answerable to no one, and known, as the Titans.


    Rivet City:

    A sprawling population resides within a beached aircraft carrier, and a wall forming a vast corridor connects it to the nearby metro, wherein more of the popualation reside. Despite the cities sucsess, they are in immediate threat of the BoS.


    A large slum, ungaurded, but surviving many years due to the intergration of raiders, which has gaurenteed the town quarter from the many overlapping raiding groups, who all have an interest in keeping the town alive, due to it's extrmley large Brahmin herd, only handlable by Megatons well versed farmers.

    Paradise Falls:

    A slaver metropalis, formerely a Followers of The Apocalypse camp, slavers took it over, and have since used the Followers knowledge to prosper, and build a sprawling slaver setllement, seeing the BoS presence in the area, they want to expand and take Megaton, and Canterbury commons, and merge the towns to hold the line against the invaders.

    Canterbury commons:

    A ruined town, with one exit, and one entrance, the innter area is heavily walled, using rescources from the crumbling suburbia, and within lies a vast wealth of traders and rescources, kept safe due to Rileys Rangers, a former NCR elite squad, who, after service migrated to the wastes to improve life, after having comitted so much bad under NCR.

    The Many:

    (Apolagies for similarites to The Master)

    A secretive clan of humanoids settled in a series of mountain caverns and caves, the leader of which was exposed to FEV in an Enclave experiment, and was merged with an insect, wherein he took upon hive mind characteristics.

    They have brought many under thier banner using cybernetic implants and radiation exposure, and seek the DC treasures to expand and gain comprehensive control of the wastes.

    The Plot:

    After being taken in by the Outcasts, and after a number of years in which the PC becomes profficent in the ways of whichever class they specified (or custom ofc) the Outcasts draft your service in exchange for thier rescue many years ago, to help them in thier quest to find the warheads.

    From hereon in, the PC can aid the Outcasts, other factions etc, to restore order.

    Ehm, very, very brief outline, obv if I were to write every branch and character in detail i'd be here for a year...but yeah, not as good as Dutch Ghost's but have fun reading :P
  10. Mr Krepe

    Mr Krepe Water Chip? Been There, Done That

    Mar 28, 2010
    You used NCR far too much, come on Talon Company and Reilly's Rangers from the NCR! I know your from Britain (and so am I) and your knowledge of American geography is not as it would be (mine is alright, I done geography in school), but DC is more than 1000 miles away from California, so it is highly unlikely that multiple groups would migrate at around the same time. I think if you made Talon and Reilly's natives of DC, and maybe a mysterious group of mercs who live in the underground or something like that, who when you befriend them tell them they ended up here after a botched up expedition....Thats also a bad idea though.

    I liked the idea of the Followers of the Apocalypse, but not them exactly, as they originated from the LA Boneyard, and I don't think they would bother to trek that far just for humanitarian work.

    Other than that if you rename some factions/towns re-work the main story (just a bit) and maybe relocate it (sorry I really prefer Dutch Ghosts FO3).

    PS - Did you get FO3 first, then get FNV and get FO2 and FO after FO3 because I think that's what you did here.

    PSS (to Dutch Ghost) - Really Really nice work there, I don't care if you 'ripped it off', I think you really could've been capable of writing for Black Isle if they were still around.
  11. Threepwood

    Threepwood Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    Nov 4, 2010
    Thanks, I wasn't really trieing to compete with Ghost, I just added some stuff 'I thought would be cool'.

    I am aware of the distance issues :p and no, I played the games FO, then FO2 then tactics, then 3, then nv, havnt played brotherhood of steel, thankfully.
  12. Mr Krepe

    Mr Krepe Water Chip? Been There, Done That

    Mar 28, 2010
    Okay, it's good to hear your okay with me criticising you, but this would be really good if you revamped some of the factions and towns, just a little bit, maybe explain some problems going on in the towns, oppurtunities in faction and towns that present themselves to the PC, but yeah good.....so far!
  13. SerbianWarrior

    SerbianWarrior It Wandered In From the Wastes

    Jun 30, 2010
    To the Dutch Ghost:
    I am so not reading all of that :)
  14. John B.

    John B. Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    Sep 24, 2010
    Can I use that as a story for a modding project? Being as how I want to go into game design, it would be great to have something like fixing fallout 3 under my belt, I would of coarse give you full credit, for your writing prowess, and your work on that. I don't think it would be to hard with the modding accessibility of fallout 3, and all the great modding work done on new Vegas, and all the previous mods for Fallout three. I would really like it if I could get permission from you to use your story/ have you for the writing team, I may be a bit young, but I want to make fallout 3 an enjoyable game.
  15. The Dutch Ghost

    The Dutch Ghost Grouchy old man of NMA Moderator

    Jan 11, 2004
    Who's story design/concept do you mean?

    Heh, if you want to help out, there are tons of projects that are looking for more people, ask them first.
    Mutants Rising, Between Good and Evil, Fallout 2161 etc.

    I also want to get into game design, that is why I am currently writing a concept design document for a FNV expansion I call "Dreamland".
  16. tnu

    tnu First time out of the vault

    Sep 29, 2010
    I like the idea of vampires in the setting. I just hate how it was done. If I wanted friendly cannibals i'd got o Andale. I would rather have a quest based around I Am Legend (The book) dealing with Mutant vampires instead of lifestyle vampires.
  17. Mr Krepe

    Mr Krepe Water Chip? Been There, Done That

    Mar 28, 2010
    How would radiation/FEV make people want to suck people's blood? Wouldn't be more of a thing where they have regressed into cannibals, because mutant vampires sounds like so crackpot stupidity to me.
  18. Lynette

    Lynette It Wandered In From the Wastes

    Jan 9, 2010
    I must say bloodrinking mutant vampires are not so far fetched from a 50´s pulp side. The main problem is they shouldnt appear like classical Vampires nor like the Lost Boys. Imo they should somehow be into technology or completly brainless ones. In the end however they are not needed and given how much nonsense floats around about this vampire stuff better keep it away from Fallout.

    From the thematic ghouls could have been something like vampires but ghouls were the far better choice.
  19. Mr Krepe

    Mr Krepe Water Chip? Been There, Done That

    Mar 28, 2010
    Yeah, i've noticed I hated the vampire in FO3, I just thought it was another desperate attempt to give the capital wasteland 'depth' if thats what bethesda calls it.
  20. Lynette

    Lynette It Wandered In From the Wastes

    Jan 9, 2010
    I fear it was more like "Wouldnt Vampires be cool ? "
    They were badly implemented, sad but true. As I said I belive one can do that Vampire stuff if one has to but it aint easy and Beth obviously cant. Infact they managed to botch everything they introduced or anything they reintroduced(ripped off) from the old Fallouts.