True story

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Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!
My friend has this cellphone he got from one of these dealer shops where they sign you up for a calling plan and you walk out with a phone. There's a problem with his phone though - he tells me ever since he got that one he's been getting calls from some teenagers who keep asking him for weed.

Now normally you'd think it was a joke from the previous owner, but five minutes ago I tried calling my friend using the cellphone number he gave me, and a voice recording made by a stranger apologized to me for being unable to answer the phone because he (previous owner of the cellphone?) is in the witness protection program.
 
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