What do YOU want on your tombstone?

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by Radwaster, Jun 9, 2009.

  1. Cimmerian Nights

    Cimmerian Nights So Old I'm Losing Radiation Signs

    Aug 20, 2004
    There are two kinds of people in this world my friend.
    Those with loaded guns, and those who dig.

    You dig.
     
  2. Radwaster

    Radwaster It Wandered In From the Wastes

    153
    Apr 1, 2009
    SuAside Wrote:
    Purgatory had its moments, but yeah, Paradise is dull as dishwater.
    Guess we're just not heaven material?

    Revised epitaph, in case of Chinese Hell:
    'Frying Tonight...'
     
  3. lugaru

    lugaru Look, Ma! Two Heads!

    330
    Mar 9, 2009
    You go to heaven for the weather and hell for the company.
     
  4. The Dutch Ghost

    The Dutch Ghost Grouchy old man of NMA Moderator

    Jan 11, 2004
    "Pray I don't come back"
     
  5. Daimyo

    Daimyo Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!
    Orderite

    Oct 26, 2007
    :rofl: @ the last entry :D
     
  6. Lukus

    Lukus Testament to the ghoul lifespan
    Orderite

    May 11, 2003
    Eheheh... that's awesome. Not too strong selling points for the religion there. Here's my score:

    1. Never killed anyone, and though I've been greedy, I don't think I qualify for 'heinous crimes out of greed', so I guess I'm off the hook for unspecified 'punishment'.
    2. I'm not wealthy, but I've done no good and wasted a lot of food. Put me down for some powder grinding.
    3. I've stolen as a kid, of course (I think I was 12 or so the last time, nicking a dollar for candy), and I've cheated at tests and such, so I'm totally up for a burning.
    4. I was somewhat of a jerk as a kid, I guess, so make my ice-freezing a double.
    5. Not a sex offender, but pretty perverted. I guess I could just simmer a bit in the oil without getting deep fried? (Can I get rice with that? *ba-da-bum-ching*)
    6. Aw shucks, never kidnapped or forced a good woman into prostitution. No dismemberment by sawing then, I guess. :/
    7. Never been an official or a landlord, but I've been corrupted... Still, I guess i'm off the hook here as well.
    8. Sure I've jacked up prices for some products.. that's what the entertainment industry is all about - selling crappy entertainment for obscene prices. I guess I'm in for this whole climbing the mountain of knives thing, then.
    9. I've lied and gossiped, so off with the tounge!
    10. Eheheh... I'm obviously not a cold blooded murder, but if I were, I would get *pounded*? I just climbed a fucking mountain of knives for having jacked up a price a little bit, but had I killed someone, an old fashioned pounding would have been the punishment? (Would that be a straight pounding or a prison pounding?)
    11. Yep, I've schemed, and I've been hella ungreatful, so it's a jackpot for the champer of torso-severing.
    12. Unless internet politics count, I don't think I've been a crook who's oppressed the innocent... And I'm obviously not a daughter-in-law who has ill-treated my in-laws. This was a weird chamber.
    13. Bwahaha, a whole separate chamber for peeping toms! I'd easily have my eyes gouged out here. I mean, who hasn't snuck a peak when opportunity has presented itself?
    14. I honestly don't think I have an evil heart, but I don't think it's purely good either. So do I get half the deal of having my heart dug out, or is it no game? :/
    15. I've never been a tomb-robber, but I've been a hypocrite :). Away with the bowels!
    16. Yep, I'm a top notch 'blasphemous crook' who show no respect for the gods - guess I'm in for a skinning.
    17. Hmm, I guess with some creative interpretation, I've 'used loopholes of the law'. Perhaps not to the greatest extent, so I guess the maggots can just eat me alive for a little while?
    18. Nope, not even with creativity can I qualify for this one. (Unless, again, you count internet politics :P). I haven't brought misery to the people and betrayed the ruler. (Though, hmm, I have brought misery to some people, and I haven't exactly not betrayed the ruler... But yer, that's too creative.) So I'm off the hook for the platform above the inferno.

    Pretty content with the score, there. A funnier sheet than the seven christian cardinal sins (where I of course score 7/7).

    On my grave, in the event that I get one (I dunno - I might just live forever... or get cremated or w/e - doesn't matter to me much), it could of course be funny with a cynical little strip of text. I don't think "At least I got to fuck a stripper" would get approved. So maybe something along the lines of "Finally", or "I decompose in your general direction", or "If life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten... I forgot what it was, and look at me now."

    Or mebbe a longer snippet; "I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get *that* day over, and over, and over..."
     
  7. UnidentifiedFlyingTard

    UnidentifiedFlyingTard Vault Fossil

    Mar 12, 2009
    "Don't Look Behind You"
     
  8. Carib FMJ

    Carib FMJ Nuka-Cola Chaser

    Nov 8, 2003
    "I shall return."
     
  9. Silencer

    Silencer Night Watchman Staff Member Admin

    Nov 7, 2003
    A spire with the bloke who iced me impaled atop!

    Or, if it were to be in English and I got to live to old age... "You darn kids get off my loin"
     
  10. UniversalWolf

    UniversalWolf eaten by a grue.

    Aug 28, 2005
    Maybe I'll leave a shovel sitting nearby...
     
  11. Here lies Sean Caraska, made up of about 6.7 x 1027 atoms and is composed of 60 chemical elements:
    Element ↓ Percent of Mass[1] ↓ Mass (kg)[2] ↓
    Oxygen 65 43
    Carbon 18 16
    Hydrogen 10 7
    Nitrogen 3 1.8
    Calcium 1.5 1.0
    Phosphorus 1 0.780
    Potassium 0.25 0.140
    Sulfur 0.25 0.140
    Sodium 0.15 0.100
    Chlorine 0.15 0.095
    Magnesium 0.05 0.019
    Iron 0.006 0.0042
    Fluorine 0.0037 0.0026
    Zinc 0.0032 0.0023
    Silicon 0.002 0.0010
    Rubidium 0.00046 0.00068
    Strontium 0.00046 0.00032
    Bromine 0.00029 0.00026
    Lead 0.00017 0.00012
    Copper 0.0001 0.000072
    Aluminium 0.000087 0.000060
    Cadmium 0.000072 0.000050
    Cerium 0.000040
    Barium 0.000031 0.000022
    Tin 0.000024 0.000020
    Iodine 0.000016 0.000020
    Titanium 0.000013 0.000020
    Boron 0.000069 0.000018
    Selenium 0.000019 0.000015
    Nickel 0.000014 0.000015
    Chromium 0.0000024 0.000014
    Manganese 0.000017 0.000012
    Arsenic 0.000026 0.000007
    Lithium 0.0000031 0.000007
    Mercury 0.000019 0.000006
    Caesium 0.0000021 0.000006
    Molybdenum 0.000013 0.000005
    Germanium 0.000005
    Cobalt 0.0000021 0.000003
    Antimony 0.000011 0.000002
    Silver 0.000001 0.000002
    Niobium 0.00016 0.0000015
    Zirconium 0.0006 0.000001
    Lanthanum 0.0000008
    Tellurium 0.000012 0.0000007
    Gallium 0.0000007
    Yttrium 0.0000006
    Bismuth 0.0000005
    Thallium 0.0000005
    Indium 0.0000004
    Gold 0.000014 0.0000002
    Scandium 0.0000002
    Tantalum 0.0000002
    Vanadium 0.000026 0.00000011
    Thorium 0.0000001
    Uranium 0.00000013 0.0000001
    Samarium 0.000000050
    Tungsten 0.000000020
    Beryllium 0.000000005 0.000000036
    Radium 0.00000000000000001

    Element ↓ Percent of Atoms[3] ↓ Atoms ↓
    Hydrogen 63 4.22 x 1027
    Oxygen 24 1.61 x 1027
    Carbon 12 8.03 x 1026
    Nitrogen 0.58 3.9 x 1025
    Calcium 0.24 1.6 x 1025
    Phosphorus 0.14 9.6 x 1024
    Sulfur 0.038 2.6 x 1024
    Sodium 0.037 2.5 x 1024
    Potassium 0.033 2.2 x 1024
    Chlorine 0.024 1.6 x 1024
    Magnesium 0.0070 4.7 x 1023
    Silicon 0.0058 3.9 x 1023
    Fluorine 0.0012 8.3 x 1022
    Iron 0.00067 4.5 x 1022
    Zinc 0.00031 2.1 x 1022
    Rubidium 0.000033 2.2 x 1021
    Strontium 0.000033 2.2 x 1021
    Bromine 0.000030 2.0 x 1021
    Aluminum 0.000015 1.0 x 1021
    Copper 0.0000104 7 x 1020
    Lead 0.0000045 3 x 1020
    Cadmium 0.0000045 3 x 1020
    Boron 0.0000030 2 x 1020
    Manganese 0.0000015 1 x 1020
    Nickel 0.0000015 1 x 1020
    Lithium 0.0000015 1 x 1020
    Barium 0.0000012 8 x 1019
    Iodine 0.00000075 5 x 1019
    Tin 0.00000060 4 x 1019
    Gold 0.00000030 2 x 1019
    Zirconium 0.00000030 2 x 1019
    Cobalt 0.00000030 2 x 1019
    Cesium 0.00000010 7 x 1018
    Mercury 0.000000089 6 x 1018
    Arsenic 0.000000089 6 x 1018
    Chromium 0.000000089 6 x 1018
    Molybdenum 0.000000045 3 x 1018
    Selenium 0.000000045 3 x 1018
    Beryllium 0.000000045 3 x 1018
    Vanadium 0.000000012 8 x 1017
    Uranium 0.0000000030 2 x 1017
    Radium 0.00000000000000001% 8 x 1010

    Molecules in one cell

    Estimated Gross Molecular Contents of a Typical 20-micrometre Human Cell[3]
    Molecule ↓ Percent of Mass ↓ Mol.Weight (daltons) ↓ Molecules ↓ Percent of Molecules ↓
    Water 65 18 1.74 x 1014 98.73
    Other Inorganics 1.5 55 1.31 x 1012 0.74
    Lipids 12 700 8.4 x 1011 0.475
    Other Organics 0.4 250 7.7 x 1010 0.044
    Protein 20 50,000 1.9 x 1010 0.011
    RNA 1.0 1 x 106 5 x 107 3 x 10-5
    DNA 0.1 1 x 1011 46 3 x 10-11
    THC 99.1 5 x1134 46&2 333.333
    Vodka (Trace amounts) .000000001
     
  12. Puokki

    Puokki Where'd That 6th Toe Come From?

    471
    Jun 4, 2008
    "I have a money stash worth of 5.000.000.000,00 dollars here, but I will eat any grave diggers, bums who sleep on this, and/or tombstone- pushing, flower- stealing, on- grave- jumping retard idiots."

    (On golden letters, of course.)
     
  13. LauraJay

    LauraJay First time out of the vault

    56
    Jul 23, 2009
    'Here lies Laura Jane, there's a 99% chance I don't like you, so go away'.
     
  14. Pablosdog

    Pablosdog Where'd That 6th Toe Come From?

    451
    Oct 30, 2007
    "I think Pablosdog is a cool guy, has banal posts and doesn't afraid of anything."
     
  15. Zaij

    Zaij Vault Senior Citizen
    Orderite

    Feb 10, 2004
    "OK, seriously guys, dig me up already... This shit isn't funny"
     
  16. Public

    Public Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    May 18, 2006
    "Died because he couldn't stop drinking"
     
  17. TheWesDude

    TheWesDude Sonny, I Watched the Vault Bein' Built!

    Feb 25, 2005
    "Sausage and Peperoni"
     
  18. Makagulfazel

    Makagulfazel Adept Bungler of Things Orderite

    Jun 14, 2007
    "Thanks for burying me next
    «-- to these assholes --»"
     
  19. Verevoof

    Verevoof Cryptid oTO Moderator Orderite

    Jul 12, 2009
    :clap:

    This thread is amusing.
     
  20. Radwaster

    Radwaster It Wandered In From the Wastes

    153
    Apr 1, 2009
    Posterity will ne'er survey
    A nobler grave than this:
    Here lie the bones of Castlereagh:
    Stop, traveller, and piss

    Byron, on Castlereagh.