Hate Newspapers Thread

Discussion in 'Fallout 4' started by Plautus, Oct 29, 2015.

  1. Plautus

    Plautus Angry Preacher

    75
    Nov 24, 2010
    I thought it would be a good idea to centralize all NMA discussion about the hatred of newspapers.

    I think that Protagonist Man hates newspapers (as we see in the video) because of what happens between the prologue and the main game footage we saw in the E3 demo. Vault 111 was actually a horrible Vault-Tec/Enclave experiment to produce sentient newspapers that would take over the world after the apocalypse. Protagonist Man unwittingly leads his family into the hellish lair of these newspapers, which enslave for 200 years. Then, by way of a MacGuffin, Protagonist Man is freed from the newspapers and released into the wastes. When he meets Piper and she mentions newspapers, this mentioning invokes terrible memories of his centuries of servitude to the evil newspapers. That's why he hates them.
     
  2. phipboy

    phipboy Newly elected overseer

    209
    Oct 2, 2015
    Maybe it's some clever social commentary about real life?
     
  3. Askorti

    Askorti HATE NEWSPAPERS

    641
    Jun 30, 2015
    Actually, I think that Vault 111 is an experiment in which they were testing people's tolerance for newspapers.
    Normally, you get your daily newspaper early in the morning and you're all fine. But what if you were delivered one in the morning, and then another at noon? Or, god forbid, another one in the evening? And yet another just before you go to sleep?
    In such circumstances the test subjects develop a strong dislike of newspapers due to reading too many badly written sensationalist stories.
    And so after being subjected to such a terrible experiment, the Sole Survivor is the only person to... survive the experiment. All the other test subjects, including his wife and newborn child died due to newspaper overdose. Now he hates them with burning passion. He may even seek revenge against newspapers, only to uncover the terrible truth, it was the institute who sponsored and "suport'd d'noooos".
     
  4. MercenarySnake

    MercenarySnake Kept you waiting huh?

    Aug 22, 2015
    The newspapers killed his wife and kidnapped his son to use as a test rat in order to test experiments on humans to see what makes them tick while the protagonist was forcibly frozen but they accidentally froze him for 200 years instead of indefinitely.
    200 years later he wakes up to find everyone is gone and the newspapers have taken over the world after the war enslaving humans to obey newspapers and now it's time to get revenge on them newspapers.

    D'ya support d'nuuuus!!!!
     
  5. Walpknut

    Walpknut This ghoul has seen it all

    Dec 30, 2010
    Maybe he is super eco-concious and he thinks Newspapers are redundant and unnecesary uses of Trees when they could switch to a entirely digital medium.
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 3
  6. Juza The Cloud

    Juza The Cloud Nanto Goshasei

    606
    Jun 3, 2015
    This thread title made me laugh-snort, so we are off to a god start. So my jokey guess is that he is illiterate, and very self conscious about it.
     
  7. MercenarySnake

    MercenarySnake Kept you waiting huh?

    Aug 22, 2015
    Illiterate since Bethesda can't write good anything very well. I can't wait to see this hyped and praise worthy "writing".
     
  8. TheChosen1

    TheChosen1 Moving Target

    Nov 8, 2012
    He's like an asshole with a new smartphone model telling everyone how great it is and they should convert to it. Except he has a pipboy.
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 1
  9. Mohamed2001

    Mohamed2001 HATE NEWSPAPERS

    557
    Jan 28, 2013
    I used to be a Vault Dweller just like you, then I walked over a newspaper and slipped.
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 2
  10. Dr Fallout

    Dr Fallout Centurion

    Aug 17, 2015
    Hates newspapers.
     
  11. Walpknut

    Walpknut This ghoul has seen it all

    Dec 30, 2010
    Maybe he Hatse Newspapers.... because the twist is not that he is an android, but that he is actually a DOG! And Dogmeat is the original Mr 111 and that's why he accompanies him so quickly because he wants to recover his body. Meanwhile The Lone Dogsurvivor has no idea he is actually a dog because he got the memories implanted too, but his instincts resurface everynow and then!
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 3
  12. Dr Fallout

    Dr Fallout Centurion

    Aug 17, 2015
    Of course... dogs hate newspapers... he's a violent son of a bitch... AND HE LOVES GORE!!!

    Holmes, you've cracked the case!
     
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2015
  13. MercenarySnake

    MercenarySnake Kept you waiting huh?

    Aug 22, 2015
    Did the dog and Mr. Vault 111 switch bodies? Hey Walpknut can you do that funny "Do you support the news!?" impersonation again? You always seem to do it the best.
     
  14. TheChosen1

    TheChosen1 Moving Target

    Nov 8, 2012
    The Vault experiment was about surgically giving dogs parts of the human brain and testicles so they become physically human.

    You're Russian, you understand that one :look:
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 1
  15. Aniki

    Aniki Just Works

    169
    Oct 9, 2015
    You don't need to be Russian to understand that one. That particular work is also popular outside of Russia too.
     
  16. phipboy

    phipboy Newly elected overseer

    209
    Oct 2, 2015
    I used to be a vault dweller like you, but then I took a newspaper to the knee from a rock-it launcher.

    Someone needs to turn this into a mod. Have every useless NPC say that.
     
  17. generalissimofurioso

    generalissimofurioso The Hole Time Orderite

    Jun 17, 2007
    Well, it's the junk-jet now (much better name).

    And in the script I'm working on for a mod, there's a line that goes like this.

    "Well, I was​ a prospector until some jackass broke my knee with a vacuum cleaner.

    Fuckin' junk jets."
     
  18. Battlecross

    Battlecross Banned

    730
    Jun 17, 2015
    Patrolling the Charles makes you wish for a junk jet to the face. x5,000,000 times repeated
     
  19. Hassknecht

    Hassknecht For hate's sake. Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Aug 16, 2010
    At first I read "Funk Jet", and now I will learn how to mod Fallout 4 simply to make a Funk Jet weapon.
     
  20. generalissimofurioso

    generalissimofurioso The Hole Time Orderite

    Jun 17, 2007
    Maybe that will be the unique Junk Jet.