"Mechanical Childhood" - comics

I

intoxicate

Water Chip? Been There, Done That
I'd like to present you comic made by Krezel, which will reveal you small piece of world of Burgeoise. There is also a story connected with it, but it will be avaible in the next week when we'll update our English version.

Cheers

More info about comics will be available in couple of days in our site.

Download: .rar
View online: 1/5, 2/5, 3/5, 4/5, 5/5
 
:eyebrow:

This is a Bourgeoisie comic?
Oh vey.
So Bourgeoisie will feature a certain Mister Teddy?
Great.
Hm.

The artwork is pretty good, a little dark, though, but good. The words, on the other hand, suck. They do. And I'm not referring to the obvious spelling errors. It just doesn't make any sense.

All in all, too much A.I.- like in my opinion. The robotic bear was cute in the flick, but why would anyone want to copy that idea? Pfff. Protagonist walking around in the big scary world with smoochy cootchy bear.

Innovate, don't imitate. Maaaaaaaaaaan.

*had too much to drink*
 
This is a Bourgeoisie comic?
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Damn... i dont know how to translate
"Mechaniczne Dzieciństwo"

i will fix that later.. sorry..

The words, on the other hand, suck. They do. And I'm not referring to the obvious spelling errors. It just doesn't make any sense.
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I will talk with Master_Of_Flamaster - who translate that comics...

i dont know if translation of text is good enough.

if someone can read in polish - please contact me and i will give PL wersion of Comics...

.. because i dont want to add to our site comics whose text suck.
 
Spelling errors? Where? And don't blame Krężel for it, it's all my fault :D
All in all, too much A.I.- like in my opinion. The robotic bear was cute in the flick, but why would anyone want to copy that idea? Pfff. Protagonist walking around in the big scary world with smoochy cootchy bear.
Click to expand...
Ehem... The bear is not robotic. It's just your every day, common teddy bear.
 
Master - look at the comic once again... full of text bugs.

I think that Krezel write up your translation when beeing drunk...:P

We will fix everything before adding to our site.
 
I liked the art, a real dark and gritty world... The writting is much to be desired, but nonetheless, interesting to the last...

Bourgeoisie will be interesting indeed.
 
Well, there are some flaws in the text, although I was expecting worse from your posts. One thing from me: it should be "Mr Teddy" and "exercise caution" to polish it up a little :)

Alec - I think Mr Teddy references the robotic bear from AI as much as Mr Nixon doll references the robotic Nixon from Futurama :) (there *is* something wrong with this comparison :) ) I'd rather say it brought the "Second Variety" to my mind.

Anyways, I really like the comic and I think I'll like the game - if you can maintain the "gritty feel" Carib mentioned.
 
I think that Krezel write up your translation when beeing drunk...
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hehe, he told me now that he was drunk when adding Master's text in photoshop...

now he is again drunk :lol:
i love that guy :P


Tommarow everything will be fixed
 
Silencer said:
Alec - I think Mr Teddy references the robotic bear from AI as much as Mr Nixon doll references the robotic Nixon from Futurama :) (there *is* something wrong with this comparison :) ) I'd rather say it brought the "Second Variety" to my mind.
Click to expand...

First of all: I did notice that the bear in the comic isn't a robot. Yeah, I'm that smart.

Secondly: the mere fact that someone (me, for instance) immediately had to think about the android boy and his supertoy Teddy from the Spielberg flick A.I. whilst reading this comic, automatically makes it into an intertextual reference. The writing of a text isn't the final stage. It's only the interpretation of the text by the reader that matters in the end.

Thirdly: the obvious spelling errors (just a few -- agreed) aren't what I was really commenting about. When I say the text "sucks" (which isn't a very subtle way of expressing myself -- agreed again), I actually mean that it doesn't add anything really new or valuable to the drawings (which are excellent, by the way). It seems to me that the writer of those words doesn't have anything very meaningfull to say to his audience, so to cover that up, he kinda sorta remains vague and obscure in what he says. Thus, the text makes very little sense to me. Or to put it differently: the comic wouldn't loose much of its attraction if you simply left the words out.

All in all: great artwork, but bad text. I don't think that's a very harsh judgement.
 
Sorry about the text. I know it probably sucks. Wish I known English better. Anyway none of us never made a comic before, so i guess it's crappy in some way or another.
 
intoxicate said:
Try now... we have make some change to text.
Click to expand...
You did? There's still two typos in the first block of text.

Unless the teddy's name is Mr Teedy, in which case you've gotten it wrong in the later pages.

Anyway, I don't really have anything to add on the commentary front, other than to repeat everyone else comments:
Good Art, Bad wording.

You might want to try cutting out most of the wording, just leaving in the essential stufff. For instance, on the first page you could take out everything but "But Daddy is angry when we leave our room" and "...he won't know?". That would carry the plot effectively still, but emphasise the artwork more.

EDIT - Like this, my rough version. (Had to move some of the text, and couldn't remove some without leaving black holes, but it gives an idea).

I've had a quick go at them all, panels 3 & 5 are mostly unchanged, but 1,2 & 4 are better. What do you think?

Something you could consider doing is posting the blank comics and asking the forum members to word them, that could work.
 
Good artwork. Very dark, kind of like what you would see in some sort of bad SF/horror film that you want to have nightmares over. Animals going mad. Reminds me of 28 Day Later just a bit. - Colt
 
I think I need at least three buckets of boiling bleach after seeing this.
 
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