The real questions of life.

Discussion in 'General Discussion Forum' started by Shaodeus, Aug 17, 2016.

  1. Shaodeus

    Shaodeus Still Mildly Glowing

    279
    Apr 28, 2016
    So imagine that you were chosen by the outer gods to write the story for a porno, and the story must revolve around the main characters dealing with the dilemma of death and that everything in the universe will eventually all be gone and that our lives will ultimately be as if they never existed and the characters must come to terms with this and find meaning in their own lives, how would you write this plot?
     
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  2. Millim

    Millim The Big Straight Orderite

    Oct 13, 2010
    I would film Michael Cera for a day.
     
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  3. Jogre

    Jogre It's all JO'Ger now

    Oct 25, 2015
    This is some deep shit here. Fuck, this is probably more philosophical then all of Descartes' works combined.
     
    • [Like] [Like] x 1
  4. GonZo_626

    GonZo_626 Well Shit!

    521
    Jul 29, 2016
    Its porno, so what plot. Have it set at a funeral and some stuff about how life is to short, and then that descends too........ then repeat for next set of "performers".
     
  5. valcik

    valcik So Old I'm Losing Radiation Signs

    Dec 20, 2008
    Just toss some religious characters in. Such as a couple of nuns.
     
  6. Jogre

    Jogre It's all JO'Ger now

    Oct 25, 2015
    Did you just try and give a genuine answer to a thread soley designed to encourage shitposting?
     
  7. Shaodeus

    Shaodeus Still Mildly Glowing

    279
    Apr 28, 2016
    Honestly I'm hoping that someone will just suddenly dish out a deep plot and story that really hits me in the heart and makes me think about what it means to be human
     
  8. Millim

    Millim The Big Straight Orderite

    Oct 13, 2010
    A deep plot?
    Okay here it goes...

    A man drinks and take drugs and gets really high.
    He hits up the club where he see's this really beatiful woman.
    He talks to her and they go back to his place where they get really high and have have long steamy sex.

    The man cums on her face but has a reaction and collapses.
    The woman freaking out runs away.

    Cut to a week later, the landlord walks in the room and finds the man dead on the floor.
    It goes to his funeral where the only person who showed up was his landlord, and even he doesn't haven't words to say about him.

    I just woke up from a quick nap so the end
     
  9. Moosick

    Moosick cats

    458
    Jul 8, 2015
    Simple: The Myth of Syphilis.
     
  10. Atomkilla

    Atomkilla Alpharius oTO Orderite

    Dec 26, 2010
    I actually wrote a script for the porno film that is very similar to what is listed in the OP. Not kidding at all.
     
  11. Shaodeus

    Shaodeus Still Mildly Glowing

    279
    Apr 28, 2016
    Sounds like something you should share with the entire world, for should humanitas not eat the fruits of thy labour?
     
  12. alec

    alec White heterosexual male Orderite

    May 21, 2003
    An existential porn flick? Sure.

    I'd start with a close up of a hairy beaver. Then, all of a sudden, a head bursts out of this sweaty vagina and it starts to cry like a motherfucker. It's a boy!
    Flash forward 12 years. The boy is now a very curious teenager who has begun experimenting with sex. We see how the boy covers his genitalia with a generous layer of chocolate spread and we witness how he has his dog lick it all off.
    Four years later, the boy is seen kissing a girl. Has he fallen in love for the first time? Hell no, this kid got blowjobs from his dog, he's sick as fuck, so it should be no surprise that the girl is actually dead and he is fucking her up the ass with a 2 by 4. This introduces the theme of disappointment, which is a constant in everyone's life.
    So our hormone driven teenage rapist boy does this to a couple ratchet bitches, and he gets really good at it because we see him getting older and we see him rape a lot of dead assholes, but then he makes a terrible mistake and the cops discover one of the corpses and they manage to find some dried up sperm around the ruptured asshole of the dead girl and this data gets fed into some computer somewhere and PING! We have a match!
    So now we see our hero in the interrogation room with a couple of ratchet bitches who fucked their way through police academy. These bitches are also orally fixated feminazis so they really interrogate the shit out of him with their batons and eventually they shove their batons into his asshole, together with their fists, boots, cellphones and a copy of 50 Shades of Grey. This introduces karma into the equation.
    So now our main character sits in jail. He's been put in a cell with a nigger who is officially named Samuel Kingsley Frottermann, but who generally listens to the way cooler moniker "Ripper". This introduces racial tensions into our story. Tensions which eventually turn out to be sexual in nature when our hero discovers the joy of manlove and prolapsed anuses. We get to see a lot of buttsex scenes now, hairy assholes, anal creampies and weird circlejerk bukkake stuff. This refers to the repetitiveness of life, the daily drag and the basal pleasures that elevate us above all that sad pseudo-philosophical crap.
    We end with a mixed gay marriage. Our hero and Ripper have finally gotten out of jail and the love they feel is real. So they steal a car, rob three liquor stores and go to Vegas. They visit a couple of casinos, they play a few card games and they lose a shitload of the cash they stole. This symbolizes that nothing lasts forever. Not even love, 'cause when our happy couple goes to one of them Vegas churches where you can get married for fifty bucks, two ISIS terrorists run inside the church and they start killing everyone inside. That's when Ripper saves our hero's life. He basically runs into one of the terrorists and gets shot to pieces. This diversion, however, is all that was necessary for our hero to get the fuck out of that goddamn church. This scene symbolizes how everyone who runs into bullets dies.
    Flash forward ten years. Our hero seems to be married to a woman! What the fuck? Seems all the gay stuff was just a phase and now our hero likes vagina. It's called being gender fluid and it's a big hype in the future. So we see our hero get into bed, next to his wife, a Somalian midget who used to be a prostitute (cue flash backs of dirty, sick, paid sex with what looks like giants) and they have a deep conversation about existentialism and the simulation argument, but this starts to bore the shit out of our Somalian sex goddess, so she starts sucking our hero's dick and then she starts to ride him, reverse anal cowgirl style. This goes on for another half hour or so and ends with our hero cumming on his wife's face. This quaffer scene is pretty spiritual because the cum actually symbolizes grief and then the grief symbolizes hope which ultimately refers to la condition humaine, which is also a 1933 novel by André Malraux. Which brings us back to a variation of the first scene: the sweaty beaver. Only this time it's a close up of a black sweaty beaver because it belongs to our hero's wife, the Somalian succubus. Suddenly a head bursts out of her vagina and it starts crying like a motherfucker. This symbolizes the cycle of life but also the superiority of black vaginas over white vaginas even after 400 years of slavery which brought the white man nothing but prosperity and cheap sex slaves.
    I would probably try to get Woody Allen or one of the Coen brothers on my team to advice me on some technical stuff, but as you can well see, the story is pretty solid.
     
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  13. Hassknecht

    Hassknecht For hate's sake. Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Aug 16, 2010
    Berlin is now Germany's (or even Europe's?) capital of syphilis. Exactly nobody is surprised by that news.
     
  14. Moosick

    Moosick cats

    458
    Jul 8, 2015
    Are you saying that the film should take place in Berlin, or just offering flavour text for Camus to shout between thrusts?
     
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  15. Vergil

    Vergil Banned

    Jul 8, 2014
    Hmm, that sounds familiar.
     
  16. Atomkilla

    Atomkilla Alpharius oTO Orderite

    Dec 26, 2010

    Mayhaps one day, but not now. It is not in English, and there are some things I would like to improve, add some new stuff, more details etc. So far, the script is around 30 pages, but that is without detailed planning of sex scenes, which I have in draft. I would however first like to add some more dialogue and shit, make it around 50 pages without sex scenes, to flesh out certain characters and events.
    And yeah, translation.




    Alec's autobiography never disappoints.
     
  17. Hassknecht

    Hassknecht For hate's sake. Staff Member Admin Orderite

    Aug 16, 2010
    Berlin is just the perfect setting for everything rotten, decadent, and ultimately meaningless. That fucking city just oozes not only actual pus from every orifice, but also existential emptiness.
     
  18. Shaodeus

    Shaodeus Still Mildly Glowing

    279
    Apr 28, 2016
    Sounds like Amsterdam, honestly most major European cities seem to be giant shitholes now, can't imagine why anyone would pay money to go all the way over to Paris or whatever
     
  19. Throatpunch

    Throatpunch Banned

    Apr 14, 2016
    London's nice...in the good parts.

     
  20. Shaodeus

    Shaodeus Still Mildly Glowing

    279
    Apr 28, 2016
    Britannia is just filled with the most refined of gentlemen, wouldn't you agree?