Fallout Haiku

Well hello little boy,
What are you doing here, kid?
Maybe you are lost.

No, I'm not lost, sir,
I am looking for my doll.
So fuck off, pedo!


next: smuggling booze into tap house in vault city
 
Stuffing ten beers and
ten bottles of booze in your
pants is not easy.

Next: having sex with Bishop's bitches
 
Hm, blonde or brunette,
which one should I take to bed,
this is the question.

Mid-age or teenage?
I wish I could take them both
*bang* by old Bishop.

next: hand-wrestling with Francis in Broken Hills
 
Hand-wrestling or fist-
fucking? That is the question.
Whether it's nobler

to cheat and take drugs
or to bite in the dust and
get raped in a cell,

I don't want to know.
I just want that Powerfist,
so Psycho it is.


Or the abridged version:

Hand-wrestling or fist-
fucking? That is the question.
Drugs are the answer.


Next: the Tin Woodsman encounter
 
Shot through the crotch, he's
Writhing in his own entrails
Who brought the popcorn?

Next: Izo, Gizmo's silent enforcer
 
Alas! I did not
play the New Vision mod yet.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit.


(Lamest haiku evar!)

Next up: the fact that mutants are sterile
 
Who said mutes are sterile.
Their love-cannon is just too big,
to fit in the hole.


next: that arrogant guy in the cathedral, near the door leading to stairs, who is always saying something about killing you (fo1)
 
Big ants, those assholes
those truly big fucking ants
make me mad on them

next: rad sickness
 
alec said:
Alas! I did not
play the New Vision mod yet.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit.


(Lamest haiku evar!)
Best haiku ev4!!111LOL ;)

Sorry, no time to make up a haiku right now.
 
I'm down in the Glow
The air is greenish of rad
Hard to see, to breathe

I feel exhausted
The Geiger counter shows text:
"How are you alive?"

RadAways don't help
I'm crawling back to the BOS
Meanwhile turning green

Finally I'm there
Doctor knows what she's doing
Back on feet in days

lal

next: Michael, the BOS warehouse manager in FO1
 
You arrogant prick!
I'll show you my fucking form.
Here it is! *ker-click*

Now you want to run?
No such luck. Have a free round.
Michael's brains go splat.

Uh-oh, it's Rhombus.
Guess I didn't think my plan
all the way through, huh?


Next: Oh god, I did WHAT for money?
 
A fluffer I was.
Sucked cocks for cash. Got a rash.
Got poisoned and died.

The end.


Next: The Nine Squares Of Doom at The Enclave (you know: the puzzle that gives you electric shocks)
 
I cheeted through it
Thanks to mapper of fallout
what were they thinking

ok ill do it
loaded the uncheated map
then loaded the game

twelve hours later
I finally finished it
I hate the enclave

Next: the anatomy(or lack thereof) of a floater
 
Enigmatic thing
This is the burning question
How does it go pee?

Is it that red stuff
Leaking from the top of it?
No, I think it's blood.

Perhaps it's purple?
No, I see no purple stuff.
Maybe- AWWW! My shoe!
 
since machina-sama didn't point out the next topic, i'll just do it about pacific ocean.

Oh, Great Pacific
please flood over the Enclave
and San Fransisco

thanks

next: why is marcus ugly?
 
MARCUS IS ugle
because of the efeevee
he dont need no strap

next: The pixel that lights up the second to last spark on the hymag
 
Back
Top